Thursday, November 1, 2007

AYKT Vocabulaire

We all know that anyone who follows sports is basically a mensa-level genius simply for discovering the only thing that makes life worthwhile.

In order to placate these geniuses, sports journalists are forever coming up with new terms to describe on-field, on-ice or on-court action. Every once in a while, AYKT will endeavour to bring its readers up to date on the latest sports lingo so that you can be the coolest kid at your local water cooler.

Sweetheart

As of two months ago, it became inappropriate to use terms like "faggot" or "gay" to describe things that are faggoty or gay. Don't worry though. This doesn't have to hinder your ability to describe a Bryan McCabe defensive gaffe or Italian soccer players. Thanks to the mind of Le Cerise, Canadian broadcaster Don Cherry, we now have the term "sweetheart" to use in the place of those more offensive terms.

Ex.) Those liberal media sweethearts are the only ones who don't like fighting in hockey.

Nicknames Are For Sweethearts

Being a fan of every sport can be exhausting. Sometimes there are as many as thirty teams in a league whose nickname you need to know in order to maintain your masculine charade. Since our brains basically work like a giant meat freezer, you're likely throwing away less important knowledge, like the names of family members, in order to retain sports information.

Radio personality Bob McCown has introduced a new method of memory storage that trims the fat and let's you sound as knowledgeable as ever. Simply drop the nickname of the team you're referring to and pluralize the city they play in.

Ex.) The Pittsburgh Pirates become The Pittsburghs. The Washington Wizards become The Washingtons. The Anaheim Ducks become The Anaheims.

Ballhype: hype it up! Digg! Delicious

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