Twat Takes Credit For Claiming The Obvious

I don't know if you've ever read the Sports Central website. It claims to be the longest running sports fan publication in the world and it's about as interesting as melba toast with nothing on it. It's sort of like the website you go to when no other page will load, or you're simply an idiot.

On Sunday they printed an article with this headline: "Clemens and Steroids: We Called It." The body of the story is a reprint of an article published on June 4th of this year claiming, I shit you not, that there could be something fishy about Roger Clemens late career resurgence and that a lot of baseball players could be using steroids.

Congratu-fucking-lations for really going out on a limb with that one. As if it wasn't enough for the writer, Brad Oremland, to state the obvious over and over again in a thousand words this summer, he decides to congratulate himself for his hack job when the obvious is mentioned in the Mitchell Report on Thursday.

I realize it's hard to break a vow of talentlessness, but this is like me posting in June that it could maybe possibly snow in Toronto this winter, and then when the Heavens open in mid-December and drop more snow than the contents of a plastic baggy inside Gary Busey's pocket (circa 1992), I reprint my prediction and give myself a blow job.

Dear Mr. Investigative Journalist,

Because of the journalistic integrity you so evidently possess, I've decided to inform you of some additional information that may prove back-slap worthy in the future if you write an article about these tips today.

The New England Patriots may be a very good team.
Michael Vick may not be a perfect choir boy.
LeBron James may be very good at basketball.
Tom Cruise may be odd.
Global warming may be a real thing.
And people who wear Velvet Revolver t-shirts may deserve to be taken out of their homes and severely beaten by the good taste police.

Sincerely,
Dustin Parkes

PS: Speaking of wankers, this total twat of a human gives his English Premiership Power Rankings and leaves Arsenal off the list despite being in first place in the table and having beaten his number two ranked Chelsea on the weekend.